Bismih Ta’ala.
All Praise be to Allah for enabling me to finish the Bond of Bliss – Part 30 successful, Alhamdulillah.
I have written about the ways that men and women expect love, in my last episodes, and have so far discussed four such ways. Today, the last two primary needs of love of a man and woman will be explained.
Validation means a woman’s right to feel the way she does. In life, you may come across many situations you will not agree with certain things which your wife does. During such occations, when a man does not object to or argue with a woman’s feelings and needs, but instead, accepts these and confirms the validity, a woman then will truly feel loved. A man may have a different view of the situation but still if he agrees with the wife on what she thinks and feels is correct then her fifth love need is fulfilled. The cup of tea she makes may not be yours, but still to say a ‘wow’ can makes miracles work.
When such small mercies happen the wife will approve of your work and what you do. She will express her overall satisfaction with her husband. It will be easier for the husband to get space and freedom to do what he wants. The signal that a man has passed the test of his wife is her approval of his freedom. When he gets the approval he needs it becomes that much easier for him to validate her feelings even more.
Reassurance happens when a man continues and repeats to show that he cares, understands, respects, validates and is devoted to his partner. This ‘reassurance’ attitude of a man makes a woman feel that she is persistently loved. A common mistake a man makes is to think that once he has met all the primary love needs of a woman, and she feels happy, from then on, she is loved. Knowing well that nature of women, this assurance must be continued throughout without a letup.
In the same way, ‘encouragement’ is an important primary love need of a man. A woman’s encouraging attitude gives hope and courage to a man by voicing confidence in his abilities and character. When a wife gives trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, and approval to a man, it ‘encourages’ a man to be all that he can possibly be.
Actually, the best comes out in a man when his six primary needs of love are fulfilled. But, when a woman does not know what he primarily needs, and gives a caring love than a trusting love, she may unknowingly damage the relationship.
The six primary love needs are explained clearly. All husbands and wives must necessarily read these over and over again until they bring this into their lives and make it the most enjoyable experience. My best wishes.
(To be continued, Insha Allah)