What a woman needs primarily is that her feelings and well-being should be taken care of. Therefore, if a man shows interest and true concern in these two matters, she will feel loved and cared for. If she is made felt special in this caring way, he opens the door for trust and when she begins to trust him she becomes more and more open and receptive to him. Hence, when a woman is open and transparent towards the man, he too feels that he is trusted.
What is meant by trust for a man is that the woman should believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for her. When a woman’s body language and reactions tells a man that she believes in his abilities and ideas, he then becomes more caring and gives more attention to the woman. By this exercise the primary needs of love of both the woman and the man are met. We discussed last week that the first primary need of a woman is ‘caring’ and of a man is ‘trust’. Do you now understand how nicely it works both ways automatically?
Similarly, if a man listens to a woman with empathy and care when a woman speaks out her feelings, she will feel that she is heard and properly understood. A man must prepare himself to sincerely listen to her and understand the meaning of what she is saying giving her assurance. If she feels that she is heard and understood, it is easy for her to give the man the acceptance he needs.
When a woman lovingly accepts and receives a man without trying to change him, he will then feel that he is accepted. He will not feel that he is rejected but favorably received by his wife. This does mean that a woman thinks that he is perfect, and that she is trying to improve him, but that she trusts him to improve on his own and make changes. In this manner, when a man feels that he is accepted, it becomes that much easier for him to listen to her and give her the understanding that she needs. The second need of both the man and woman, which are ‘acceptance’ and ‘understanding’ are fulfilled when this happens. Do you see how beautifully it falls in line? Are you listening to me?
In all matters men have to take first lead and move in to bring about peace, happiness and tranquility in family life, because men are family leaders and everyone looks upon him as the role model. The rest will naturally fall in place. Inshsa Allah.
(To be continued, Insha Allah)