Bismih Ta’ala.


Men are like rubber bands. When you pull a rubber band, it goes to a certain extent and then come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect explanation of the male relationship cycle. It involves getting closer, pulling away and then getting closer again.

Men automatically feel this need to pull away even when a man loves a woman. It is not decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault nor her fault, but it is a natural cycle.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence. When he has fully stretched away like a rubber band he will distance himself and come back again all on his own. When he has fully separated he will feel his need for love and intimacy again in a more motivating manner.

A woman pulls away for different reasons. She pulls back because she feels that he has not understood her feelings, when she is hurt and afraid of being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

A woman must feel it the same way when her man pulls away. She has to understand this properly. If you try to get him back by using your force then it will take a longer time for him to keep away. The best thing is to make him come back on his own, which will be faster. So understand well not to run after him. Don’t panic and think that you have done something wrong to stretch him away.

A man never gets the chance to feel a strong desire to be close and love his woman if he did not get the opportunity to pull away. A rubber band only comes back faster after it is stretched and released.

Men also need to understand well that when they come back the woman needs time to adjust herself too, before she could receive him back. She generally needs time and conversation to reconnect, to start the intimacy at the same level, especially, if she felt hurt when he pulled away. Without understanding this man may become impatient to see his wife not yet ready to receive his love and intimacy.

(To be continued, Insha Allah)