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BOND OF BLISS – PART 3
A man feels that to achieve a goal on his own is very important. He feels good about it. If a woman understands this it can help them realize why a man don’t like to be corrected or being told what to do. To offer help or advice to a man is like he does not know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own. Men are very touchy about this. They feel that it is a sign of weakness to get help from another when it can be done by them. However, if a man does need help, then it is a sign of wisdom, and he will find someone whom he respects to talk about his problem.
Because of this trait, when a woman shares her feelings, he begins giving advice and wants her to feel better by solving her problems. He feels that he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her problems. Once he has offered a solution, and when a woman is still upset, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because he feels that his solution is being rejected and therefore feels useless. He has no idea that by listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive. He does not know that when a woman talks about her problem, it is not an invitation to solve her problems.
Women have different values. They value love, communication, beauty and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting and helping one another. Their sense of self is shown through their feelings and the quality of relationships. They experience fulfillment by sharing and connecting. Relationships are more important than work and technology. In most ways world of women is just the opposite to that of men. Men should understand this well.
Personal expression of their feelings is very important for women and they enjoy wearing different outfits every day. Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much important than achieving goals and success. This is hard for a man to understand. The best he can do to understand a woman’s experience of sharing and relating is by comparing it to the satisfaction he feels when he achieves a goal or solves a problem.
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