Women mostly complain that men do not listen. According to her, a man completely ignores her, or listens only for a while, makes an assessment and offers her a solution to make her feel better. He is confused when she does not appreciate his gesture of love. No matter how many times, she keeps telling him that he is not listening; he doesn’t get it and keeps doing the same thing. She wants empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions.
On the other hand, men frequently complain that women are always trying to change them. When a woman loves a man, she feels responsible to assist him in whatever he does. No matter how much he resists her, she waits for a opportunity to help him or tell him what to do. She thinks she is nurturing him, but he feels he is being controlled by her. He only wants acceptance from her.
These two problems can be solved by first understanding why men offer solutions and why women want to help.
Men value power, ability, efficiency and achievement. They are always engaged in prove their worth and develop their power and skills. In short their vision is defined as “power to achieve results.” They experience fulfillment through success and results. Their dress gives a definition of their skills and competence, for example the uniforms of Police Officers, soldiers, businessmen, scientists, cab drivers, technicians, and chef. They do not read magazines like ‘Psychology Today” etc., but they are more concerned about outdoor activities.
They are interested in news, sports, weather and care less about romance novels and self-help books. They are more interested in objects and things than people and feelings. Even today when women fantasize about romance, men fantasize about powerful cars, faster computers, gadgets, and more technology. In short men are preoccupied with the “things” that can help them express power by creating results and achieving goals.