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BOND OF BLISS – PART 13
A man has to be understood in his proper perspective. A man’s biggest fear is that he is not good enough. And, he overcomes his fear by trying to focus on increasing his power and competency. His passion is to become successful and to achieve goals. Therefore, a man appears most uncaring when he is afraid. In his childhood when he is expected to do better, or when his achievement is not appreciated or goes unnoticed, he forms the belief that he is not good enough. He cannot bear the thought that he is not good enough, as it makes him fear of failing. This fear makes him avoid even trying as he thinks he will fail. This irrational thinking makes him give “less”. To avoid failure he stops giving to the people he wants to give most. This stands true in marriage life too; that in his unconscious mind it says not to give more to his partner. It is not stinginess. Wives must understand this properly.

Men are sensitive to feelings too, as they feel that they have failed when women talk about their problems. That is why it is so hard for him to listen to her sometimes. He wants to be her hero. Therefore, when the wife is disappointed or unhappy over something, he feels like a failure. Her unhappiness confirms his deepest fear that he is not good enough. Many women do not understand how sensitive men are. It is only through empathy and love that a wife can truly motivate her husband.

Men must understand that it is OK to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. It is alright to fail and that he does not have to have all the answers.

A young boy who is lucky enough to see his father succeed in fulfilling his mother enters into a relationship as an adult with a positive confidence that he can succeed in fulfilling his partner. He is not afraid as he has seen his father succeed in doing so. He knows everyone mistakes. He saw his father making mistakes and still continues to love himself. He also saw his mother loving and forgiving his father through all his mistakes.

It is such a sad situation that many men did not have successful role models as they grew into adulthood. For men staying in love, getting married, and having a family is as difficult as flying a jumbo jet without training. He may be able to take off, but he is sure to crash. It is difficult to continue flying once you crashed the plane a few times, or if you witnessed your father crash. Before entering into a marriage relationship, it is necessary that proper guidance and training is necessary for both parties. Now you know why many men and women give up on relationships.
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