How women deal with stress
When a woman is under stress and overwhelmed how she finds relief is by talking in great detail about her various types of problems. When beginning to talk she does not stick to an order. If she is upset, she is upset about it, big or small. After talking about one topic she will move on to another, about past problems, future problems, and even problems which have no solutions at all. In this manner, she touches upon her problems, worries, disappointments and frustrations, which at times may not be logically related to the main issue. If she feels that she is heard and cared, her stress gradually disappears. If she feels that she is not heard and understood, she may then be upset about more problems.
To forget her own problems, she may become emotionally involved in the problems of others. In any case, talking is a healthy and natural reaction to the stress that she is undergoing.
A woman may make certain comments as a way of expressing her worries which will however frustrate her male partner, unless he understand that this is the way how she will feel better. In the alternative, if the man feels that he is to be blamed for all the problems, he then struggles to find the connection or relevance and becomes impatient. If he does not realize that she is not blaming him or looking for a solution from him, but expects only his caring and understanding, matters may go out of hand. The blame game then gets started.
Generally, listening is a difficult thing for the male species, specially, when there is no logical order in her explanation. After she speaks about few problems, he becomes extremely confused and frustrated trying to relate these problems. Another reason why a man cannot tolerate continuous listening to various issues is that he is looking for the bottom line. He cannot plan his solutions until he knows the outcome.
Therefore, to make things easier and less complicated, she should let him know in advance the outcome of the story, and then give relevant details. Avoid keeping him in suspense. Women usually enjoy to let the suspense build up because it brings feelings into the story. A woman to woman, this buildup will be appreciated, but a man can easily get frustrated.
Understanding these regular but intricate matters correctly will make life that much peaceful.
(To be continued…..Insha Allah).