There is a difference between a conversation and an argument. One of the most difficult tasks in our loving relationship is handling of issues when a man and woman do not see eye to eye in any matter. On many occasions when couples have a disagreement or difference in opinions, their discussions or conversations can turn into arguments, and then without a warning this can lead to battles. They then suddenly stop talking in a loving manner. Their words become harsh and unfriendly, and automatically they begin to hurt each other. The game of blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, hating and doubting starts to take centre stage.
Please understand that when you start arguing in this way, you not only hurt feelings but also the relationship. If communications are the most important factor in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive and damaging element. The closer you are to someone the easier is it to get bruised and hurt.
Therefore, it is best not to get into an argument at any cost. Bury your ego and be sensible to sensitivity. When two people are not sexually or not very closely involved it is easier to remain disconnected while arguing. But those couples who are emotionally closer and sexually involved may tend to take things too personally.
The rule of the thumb then is never to argue. And make this the basic guideline. Without arguing, just discuss the pros and cons of whatever you want to sort out. Just negotiate for what you want but do not argue. It is sure possible if you make a little effort, to be honest, open, and even voice negative feelings without arguing or fighting.
Some people fight most of the time, even for the smallest difference, and naturally and slowly their love dies. Yet some people, keep their feelings locked up in order to avoid conflict and arguments. As a result of holding back or suppressing their true feelings, they lose touch with their loving attitudes as well. One couple is having a direct war while the other is having a cold war.
Therefore, it is best for a couple to find a balance between these two extremes. Remember well, men and women are different in many ways and therefore it is very important that they develop good communications skills. Insha Allah, these will be discussed in future articles.
(To be continued, Insha Allah)